Possibility Warrior

Lighting The Way Forward

Pilgrim in a Dark Forest

| 12 Comments

The Orphan has to face their aloneness and depression and realize that it’s simply about being temporarily lost.  It’s not a necessary life condition.  ~Allan G. Hunter, Stories We Need To Know

I believe this is true, even for those with chronic biological depression.  It took years to find a medical regimen that helped me, and I might be on it for the rest of my life.  Meds don’t cure depression, but they do give a fighting chance at addressing the cognitive and behavioral aspects of depression.  It’s the combination of all three that has changed my life condition.

What you insist on, persists on.  If you insist you cannot have happiness because of your biological depression, then you make it so.  Deciding that even you can have happiness doesn’t magically make you happy, but it does open the door for you to leave orphanhood and become a pilgrim.  This is true, not just for those seeking to emerge from the Dark Forest of depression, but for all of us who desire to release the chains and confusions holding us back from what we desire for our lives.

The Orphan wants to be adopted, to be saved, to be rescued from their plight by someone else.  The Orphan is in denial and has inflicted themselves with helplessness and inefficacy in order to remain dependent and avoid their responsibility for their own recovery.  It’s exhausting to remain in fear and stagnation and victimization.  As Orphans, when we decide we just can’t stand it any more, that we have to see what else is possible, no matter how frightening change might be, then we become Pilgrims.

Pilgrims search for meaning, purpose, and truth.  We have set out on a journey of inquiry, no longer living within society’s bounds.  However, not all pilgrimages lead out of the Dark Forest.  It’s possible to wander aimlessly for decades, lost and alone without even the orphan comfort of a group.  Seeking may become a way of life, jumping from one possibility to the next, for the temporary thrills rather than to find truth.  And there is the ever present temptation to retreat to the illusional safety and companionship of orphanhood.

Eventually, persistent Pilgrims will begin to realize that what we seek is not found externally; that the journey is about self-definition.  We learn to look within, to find our own truths, to hear what we need from our own intuition, and to seek out how to recreate ourselves accordingly.  The pilgrimage is a process of deciding what you value, assembling a role for yourself in the world, and defining a purpose for yourself.

As we let our personal courage grow, we can test out ways of revealing to ourselves who we are and expressing what we truly have to say to the world.  We can let go of our old false image of ourselves, sorting good counsel from fearful judgement, balancing the various aspects of the self, to bring forth the meaning for our lives that we wish to share with others.

At this point the Warrior emerges, as we prepare to act on our newly developed principles, guided by intuition and self-knowing.  No longer willing to run from challenges, we can access our courage and act from moderation, balance, and integrity.  We become willing to risk looking foolish or to fail in order to give our ideas and intuitions freedom to play with the possibilities.

12 Comments

  1. I adore you Julie!!!
    I love who you are becoming and what you are standing FOR!
    Hugs,
    Debbie

  2. Julie
    Thank you for boldly and imaginatively revealing your intimate knowledge of these Voices – these 3 aspects of Self intertwined on the committed, winding journey from dark forest to liberating possiblity: Pilgrim – Orphan – Warrior. POW … This is POWwerful. You are POWwerful.

    For all those who are somewhere on the journey from the “dark forest”, whether that’s official depression and/or periods of Soul Turbulence – You shine a beacon of light on the path forward, and with compassionate voice invite open conversation and courageous visibility – for more people to cast off their cloak of shame, emerge, and know the Core Truth of their power and radiance.
    hugs – from your sister warrior of possibility – Danila

    • Wow! Preach it sista! You have got Words, woman! POWerful! Haha, love that so much! =) Thank you thank you thank you for your support, Danila!

      • Julie – This is the magic of alchemy and the beauty of evolutionary relationship. We are in a co-creation. The Pilgrim, Orphan and Warrior all yearn for being Seen and Understood. Your words, from your deep spirit and wellspring of truth – invited and inspired my words. I would say I am “just” an instrument, a channel, and my sister Debbie would say – remove the word “just”, and feel, own my voice of Self connected to Spirit and the Greater force of Life. – Danila

  3. I second Julie, Danila!! Holy cow… You can WRITE!!!
    Bam Bam!!! Pow Pow Pow!!!
    Possibility Warrior!!!
    Love
    Debbie

  4. As I commented on FB, when I read this, it’s easy to think of how it applies to others. Now I need to think of how it applies to me.

    • I think we all have different areas of our lives where we are Orphans or Pilgrims or Warriors, and that it can be a dynamic process where we progress and regress. Having terminology for it can help us recognize it as it’s happening. We can see ourselves acting helpless and switch to seeking answers, or we can see ourselves pretending not to know the answer in order to avoid acting.

  5. Life is so monotonous and repeated. Depression is a consequence and guess it strikes many many people. One must find a way out of this vicious circle of routine life. Some did it wrongly via alcohol or/and drugs. Others, as I witness Julie, find the path to live this life and see its beautiful face.

  6. Pingback: Don’t Toss The Cheese Due To Mold | Out of the Dark Forest

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