Sometimes my inner orphan feels unsafe.
Life doesn’t go quite ideally and she feels that her security is threatened. She begins to imagine the worst possible scenario and becomes convinced she’s doomed. She feels like she has no control and begins to panic. Feelings of terror begin to well up as her gut wrenches and her throat closes, the pressure increasing on her chest…
And I reach for carbs, sugar, or chocolate. I will eat that anxiety away, dammit! If I have food that means I have security, right? At least I won’t starve to death today. Perhaps I’d better drink some wine to reassure my primal self that I’m not going to die of thirst either? 😛
What’s happening? Are we going to be okay? Are we going to be hurt or deprived? How will we survive? Who will look out for us and take care of us? Is there any safe place? Can anyone be trusted? What can we do? How can we protect ourselves!
Oh my dear sweetheart, come here, come here! Sit on my lap and let me hold you tight. You don’t need to worry, I’m here to take care of you and keep you safe. I can deal with the ups and downs, the unpredictabilities of life. I can find a way around the people who put blocks in our path. We are going to be just fine, because I have resources and knowledge and abilities as an adult, that you didn’t have as a child. I trust my adult self to know how to take care of us. I will protect you, and me, and Abby too!
I now have the ability to see things with a bigger perspective, and can see that I enjoy more safety than most humans who have ever lived. I can see the real threats and which monsters are just bluffing, hoping I don’t blow their cover. I am not immobilized by the small things and I am not terrorized by the big things. I know how to assess the options, make a plan, and implement it. If the unexpected comes up, I trust myself to find a way to deal with it, because there are always ways and I have always found one.
I make friends with trustworthy heroes who help me when I need it. I’m not afraid to ask for help. I remember that the world is full of good people, people who want to create a world full of safety for everyone. I remember that the world is full of opportunities. I look for those opportunities and make the best of everything at my disposal. I trust that all things will work out, because I trust myself and know I have the ability to adapt, find solutions, and work all things out.
You are safe, little one, because I am safe.
I am safe, and I trust myself to know my next step.
Self-parenting skills, adapted from Feminine Power tools, with gratitude to Evolving Wisdom.